How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
