I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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