we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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