I think i peed on brittanys purse
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
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