if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You're a disaster
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