Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize