yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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