both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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