This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
