Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
