You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
