my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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