4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
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