p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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