Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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