Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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