you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
