it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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