So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
