I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
