you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize