New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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