so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I did not marry a roomba.
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