He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Randomize