Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
