I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
