I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
