At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
It's shark week go big or go home
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
