No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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