We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
