my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
