I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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