I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
