Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
