i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Randomize
