who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
