Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
