If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
someone owes me an orgasm
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
