Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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