she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
