Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
