from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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