Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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