my sisters under your porch take her home
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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