Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
