i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize