OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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