I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
