this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
