Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
