he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
