My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
