Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
