Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
